Ageism or why I'm kind of mad at Ellen DeGeneres

I work part-time at my local Curves fitness club. I’ve been a member there for over 16 years and began working there once I retired. It’s not a place where you’ll find a lot of pert ponytails or color-coordinated spandex workout clothes. Our demographic skews older than that, and maybe because it is solely for women, it’s a place where people just don’t care that much about how they look while they’re exercising. I like that. The baggy shorts, the long, faded t-shirts, the spotless, indoor sneakers all say that we’re there to exercise not to impress someone. But really, you should all be impressed by these women and that’s why I’m mad at Ellen.

On her recent Netflix show Relatable, Ellen does an excellent job of handling a lot of topics with fun and kindness while generating a lot of laughter. But late in the show she does a bit about dancing where she shows a woman delighting in getting out on the dance floor. But then she says, here’s the same scene at age 85. Bent over and frail seeming, she shuffles without moving forward, grins and mimes her earlier steps but fails to reach the dance floor before the favorite song is over. It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t kind and most importantly, it wasn’t accurate.

Working at Curves has changed all of my attitudes about aging and what a privilege it can be to grow older. The women I see aren’t shuffling without moving, they’re strength training and dancing, they’re bending and reaching, they’re checking their heart-rates to be sure that they’re working hard enough. They’re doctors and cashiers, teachers and nurses, architects and engineers, university professors and stay-at-home moms. Many are retirees. But I dare you to watch one of our women work out and accurately guess her age. In fact, I double-dog dare you. On the wall we have a heart-rate chart to help members monitor their exertion level. I watched a puzzled look come over one member’s face recently and when I asked what was up, she said she was a little frustrated because our chart topped out at 80 and she is 84. She is not the oldest or the fittest member we have, but I’ll be damned if she couldn’t kick Ellen’s ass on a dance floor.

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